DAILY WRITING (7)

 SATURDAY 23RD OCTOBER, 2021

WHAT’S WITH LAGOS ISLAND AND MAINLAND?

I am tired beyond words but I am doing my very best to push myself to write this before I collapse on the bed.

Today, I went to an event on the mainland in Lagos. Ojodu-Berger area to be precise ( have only being to the mainland a few times and most of the time, they are usually for events.) So you can imagine how early I had to leave the house to, as usual, beat traffic. 

I woke up around past four for two reasons; to pray and to send out the link to my podcast. You remember I have a podcast, abi? Well, the time for every episode was usually every Saturday 12noon and I knew I would not be able to come online that time at all to start posting the link so I released the episode way earlier (around past 5am), explaining to  everyone why. Thank God I had it scheduled already. And so many people still listened. I’m glad. You people are the real MVPs.

Las las, I left the house exactly 6am. Omoooo…..the weather was very cold. The weather had looked like it would rain yesterday evening but it didn’t. I was praying to God it should not fall today even though I had carried my raincoat among the things I needed last night.

As I walked towards my estate gate, I shivered and began asking myself if I should go back to get a sweater. Everywhere was still kinda dark. Except for about two persons who jogged past me, I was alone. I could hear my footsteps and they became extremely too loud. As I walked, my trousers was making this fiunnn, fiunnn sound. So annoying. 

Finally I got to my estate gate (My house is not close to the estate gate at all. Ovoke and Ufuoma can testify to it) and apart from the security guys there, it was quiet. Too quiet. I was already walking when I started having thoughts like, “What if someone walks up behind you and tries to…..”

I replied immediately in Yoruba, “Esu, pada! Maa so be mo!” (Devil, stop it! Don’t say that again!) I knew where that evil thoughts were coming from and it was beginning to cripple me a bit. So, I did what I know best; ‘incantations’ (and by this, I mean speaking in tongues. I did this for a while and began speaking God’s Word about my safety.)

I became calm after this. Then, one okada man came and I entered to the where I’d take a bus. As you can tell, I wasn’t scared ooo, I was just concerned for my safety 😂😂. If you know me really well, you may wonder why I’m scared of the dark because I like to sit in the dark, my phone is always in dark theme unless I’m outside…..but all these are within the confines of an environment I know I feel secured in. Walking when I cannot see what’s ahead of me or easily see what’s coming behind me (just in case) is too much for me. Too many bad experiences on this issue. Let’s not continue the story on a gloomy mood jare.

Anyway, thank God for one Mr. Samuel that God used for us, we got to Iyanaoworo (Manage my spelling, thanks) really early. No traffic at all. I was really happy. We took a other bus going to Alapere. I don’t really know how the place is sha so inside the bus, we kept announcing where we were going to over and over again so they would not carry us past our bus stop. Thankfully, they didn’t and we saw the others waiting for us.

Before I continue, I want to ask Lagosians; what exactly is going on between Lagos island and Lagos mainland people? I need to get it. When I tell people I stay on the island, they are always like, “Ahhh….Tope, you be big girl ooo. Na una dey enjoy the money for there.” The notion I get a lot of times is that, ‘na big man dey stay island’ and while I may kinda agree with it, isn’t Lagos generally expensive to live in?

Also, why did they keep painting the mainland like one terrible place; always rough, dirty and smelly? That was the notion I got when people talked about the mainland and even movies did not help. They would show one fine place in Lagos for the rich and one dirty place for the poor and somehow, that idea kinda stuck. So, imagine the amazed look on my eyes the first time I came to Lagos (that’s around 2010/2011) and saw fine places around. Late last year, I got to explore some parts of the mainland too and I saw a lot of buildings, beautiful ones, and I kept wondering, “Lagos mainland is still fine ooo. What are these people even saying. See buildings I used to hear about are here sef.”

Does that mean there are no rough and dirty places there? There are but so also are there on the island. So, what exactly is going on?

Another question; why is Ikeja called mainland too? I mean, that’s the capital of Lagos and the place is fine and as the state’s capital, I was thinking it would be part of the island? Abi you people used thag one to console yourself ni?

Anyway, let me continue my story instead of asking questions I may never get answers for. It’s not me that kuku divided the Lagos, abi? 😂😂

We took a bus from Alapere going to Berger. It was going well…..not until we saw long lines ahead. Ahhhh! I can imagine traffic as a person legit laughing and be like, You don’t know anything. You thought you escaped, abi? You never see anything! Omoooo…..they said an accident had happened in front.

That’s how our driver started moving back, while his conductor was busy clearing other people’s cars behind. Against traffic, we did this, then turned to the right into another street-like road I saw was Magodo Phase 2. And what happened? There’s another traffic here. Mr Traffic was having a field day with us ooo. God, why? Why?

We continued the snail movement like that. Ovoke checked the map and said where we were going was not far away. “Should we trek the rest of it?”

Aye mi! I came to mainland to trek like the exodus era? Ovoke kept laughing and said, “Welcome to the mainland.” I wasn’t finding it funny. Plus, we had paid our transport fare. No hope of getting anything in return. I insisted we would wait ooo. 

“See the time naaa,” Ovoke said, “We are late.”

In my mind, I was like, is it not kuku better to be late than be the late? 😂😂😂 (If you didn’t get that line, sorry ooo).

We cut out into the road finally and just when we were about to move, bus stopped. On the road. Express ooo. Driver said fuel was finished. Jesus! 

The conductor carried a gallon and crossed to the other side of the road (there was a Mobil filling station just ahead) and that’s how we did not see the guy again for minutes.

Now, the road we had cut into was still the same one we were avoiding the traffic on. The only thing was, the traffic was on the other side of the road, where cars were going slower than tortoise sef. We, on the other hand, were on the lane where cars were coming. So, we were against traffic. After push and start of bus plenty times (I don’t even want to think about this 😭. I did not push ooo, just in case you’re thinking otherwise), we got to where we were going.

We took okadas and finally got to our destination some fifteen minutes later.

Let me share a bit about the event I went for. It was a funeral service for one mama who had passed. After the church ceremony, they would then come to the hall to continue the party. Like someone said, the person who died does not know you are throwing parties for them, they are already gone. True, abi?

Now, it’s a Yoruba party so you can tell there would be food. 

I saw a style I had never seen happen in any party before. Each child of the deceased had seats numbered for them and their guests and each person had their own food and servers. Even the drinks were put in different deep freezers ooo. Unlike most parties where everything is done together, these people did theirs separately ooo. E shock me.

Imagine if you did not cook well and you see your sibling’s guests eating well. That would out pressure on you, isn’t it? Anyway, the Mama’s children seemed capable.

Some persons did not come into the hall after the church service so they had bags given to everyone (or at least, almost everyone) as they stepped out. If you entered the reception hall, that’s double food for you.

Everyone was eating except the side where I was. Ahhh…. what’s going on ooo. Let us know what we are doing ooo. Kilode? Bring food ooo. Food ooo.

Finally, food came ooo. Omooooo……food everywhere. Pounded yam, Amala and Rice (Jollof and Fried rice). For soups, they had efo riro (vegetable soup), gbegiri (bean soup), and ewedu. And come and see big big meats. And there was fried fish too.

Okay, let me add one information here, just in case. I didn’t go to the event as a guest ooo, I went there to work as an usher. I had you there for a bit, abi? I know 😂😂.

Anyway, typical of every party I have ushered in, you’ll see different characters of people. That’s how one person told me the meat they gave her was too strong so she’s not eating again but we should still bring meat for her. I told her I was coming. I never looked at her side again (Naaahhh…. I’m not wicked but some things are better avoided). Another one told my colleague he did not like the way the food was presented to him so he’s not eating. You are not hungry, Sir. I could go on and on.

There were some that would tell me their orders, I’d go and get them. Before in I return, they are already eating something else. What is all this naaa? After all the energy I wasted out there? (I think I need to add this. Unlike what people think, ushers DO NOT serve food or drinks. We have various sections we are put into. You must ensure that everyone in your section is well taken care of. When it comes to food, make sure people in your section get what they want. So, you’ll make sure the server(s) gets the food to everyone. But in cases where the servers are not much or you see the process is going slow, our boss gives us they go ahead to join them to serve. If you don’t do it like this, some people can turn you to slaves if they could. That’s how one was asking a colleague of mine to go get him a bottle of beer OUTSIDE THE PREMISES.)

So, imagine how tensed the serving point is and I still went there, struggled and struggled to get food for you and you are eating something else? This happened to me a few times. I got upset and stopped serving. If they called me and told me what they wanted, I’d tell the server and wait for them. I nor do again.

But I still had to join to serve again. Truth is, you cannot really take your eyes away. At that moment, you are representing a brand. When you do something wrong, that is what people of the world would remember your brand with, instead of all the good things you’ve been doing before.

Thank God Ovoke suggested we got something to eat before work started. E for nor funny at all. We kept walking here and there. As some guests left, others were coming in. It was like the party wasn’t going to end and the day was dragging by so slowly. God ooo!

Our boss was not around but her husband was. As soon as he finally got up from his seat to leave, I went to meet Ovoke to allow those of us on the island leave with him ooo. (For those of you who don’t know, Ovoke is my friend since primary school days but as an usher, she’s my senior in that brand). She asked us to go and change. 

Each of us were tired so as we went to change, those on the mainland also shut down and began to go change one after the other.

They had packaged our food for us in bags already so we took that and left with our boss’s husband. I ate my food in the car ooo. The hunger did not let me wait till I got home. I wasn’t really comfortable the way I sat but I had to make do because we were much in the car and beside, transport fare got saved ooo. I slept a bit inside the car. And yeah, there was a looooooottt of traffic coming back.

Luckily, I live in the same estate with my boss so her husband dropped me a street away from my house. I got out of the car and almost fell. I couldn’t feel my legs, they were numb. It was a struggle walking down to my house. As I type now, my whole body aches.

I thought I would even meet up with choir rehearsal, no matter how late. For where? Traffic nor gree.

Time to sleep, y’all. 

If you don’t see this story tonight, you’d see it tomorrow morning. 

Below are some of our pictures from the event.

How did your day go? Tell me in the comments section.