DAILY WRITING (10)

 TUESDAY 26TH OCTOBER, 2021

You people always reminding me about this write up are amazing. I almost forgot…..again. I think I’ll be writing it gradually as I go about my day instead of waiting till the end of the day. It’s a little past 10.30pm and there’s so much to write bayi.

Let me begin somewhere.

Ladies, come closer. Today’s message is for you. Amen, brethren and sistren? 😀😀😀

Today, I wore a straight, red skirt with knee-length slit in front. So much for starting a story, abi? 😂😂😂 Follow me nonetheless. I have been waiting to wear this skirt for a lonnnnngggg time. Why? It’s not new ooo but I got bigger and I could not ‘enter’ it again. Instead of giving it out, I kept it, hoping I’d reduce in size again. I did this for two reasons: 

First, I am a hoarder. Not something to be really proud of but I can hardly help it. Instead of giving out clothes, I would be thinking, “Let me just keep it. You never can tell, I will just reduce again and it will be my size again?” 

Second, the skirt is red. And I loooooove red ehhhhnnn. Anyway, I do this a lot for clothes I looooove so much. 

Are you like me too? Don’t lie ooo.

Back to the story.

As a lady, you can tell how concerned you are when you want to rock your slit skirt especially when you want to climb a motorcycle or even some buses that are too high to enter. And most of the time, these slit skirts are really tight. You know, to bring out the curves and the….. (complete the rest yourself 😂😂😂😂).

Unless you are lying or you always take uber, you would have had experiences of your skirt doing ‘fiuuunn’ and just like that, secret haff open, your yansh haff open to the outside world😭. You’ve experienced it, abi? It’s never a good experience ooo. Never ever!

Late last year, I got a new idea that works. An idea that had me saying goodbye to ripped skirts. I do this all the time, especially when I have to take motorcycles. If you enter motorcycles the way those Indian girls in movies take them, that is, sitting on the motorcycle facing the left or the right side of the road, this may not affect you.

You may know it already and you may not. But I will sha share the knowledge.

Number one, as much as we understand the skirt is meant to accentuate the curves, don’t let it be too tight. If its too tight, you would not be able to lift it up a bit when climbing the motorcycle. You get, abi?

Number two, if your slit is at the back, find a way to adjust the skirt to the front. I don’t know how you wanna do it; whether before you climb the motorcycle or at home. Sha make sure the slit is in front. If you cannot adjust it, on God ooo. 😂😂😂 (Don’t worry. I’ll proffer some solutions for this much later).

Number three, lift the skirt a bit before you sit.

Number four, once you’re seated, hold the place where the skirt is was slit. How do I explain this so you’ll get? (You know the slit would start from the bottom of the skirt to whatever length you want, abi? Good. That place where the slit got to, that’s the place you will hold. Got it?) Now, you’re not holding it like you are holding somebody that owes you money ooo😂, just press it down like you’re clipping something. Your thumb and your forefinger are enough. Why? So that as the motorcycle moves on and there are bumps on the road and all that, that place will not start to tear. You get, abi?

Number five, just keep holding to reach where you are going. 

Number six, when you are getting off the motorcycle, DON’T put one of your foot on the floor first to come down. Stand on the motorcycle, your feet both on the ‘leg stand’ (I don’t know what they are called ooo) you placed your feet on. Then, carefully, get down ooo.

And that’s it. Your skirt cannot tear unless village people follow you. 😂😂😂

Okay, let me add this one; CARRY A SUBSTITUTE SKIRT OOO. If you know you cannot do without wearing that tight slit skirt, carry an alternative. Sometimes it is not even on bike it gets ripped, it could be that you were walking on the road or you’ve been sitting for a long time, you wanted to stand …..and everywhere scatter. Most of the time, you’d have been far from the house when it happens. Very annoying.

If your slit is at the back and you cannot move it to the front, 

One, carefully climb the motorcycle.

Two, do not move close to the motorcyclist. The closer you get, the more your legs involuntarily open and that means your slit will start ripping. Or is it tearing? 😂

Three, as you move on, pray to your God the skirt does not tear ooo. Omooo…..pray ooo.

It’s past 11pm now and I’m having my dinner. I’m still watching my weight ooo.

I’d have shared with you pictures of my outfit today but I forgot to take pictures. So unlike me. It is well.

So, enjoy this picture. It’s one of my faves. Stay happy.

How was your day?